Teen Sexual Health

Teen Workshop Modules

Overview | Understanding The Risks Of Sex | Exploring The Idea Of Sexual Limits | Developing A Decision-Making Framework | Using Values To Guide Your Decisions

Values & Decision Making II: Developing A Decision-Making Framework

Estimated Time: 20 Minutes

Procedure:

1. Ask: Why is it useful to have a model when making decisions?

2. Explain: Romantic relationships are often emotionally charged and somewhat confusing. There's so much going on, it's hard to know what to do. There's a saying that "love is blind," which means people can get so caught up in feeling good about being in a relationship that they forget to think logically. That is, their heart-or feelings-is so caught up in experiencing pleasure that their mind-or their ability to think logically-goes unheard. This can make it hard to know what the right decision is. Having a model helps us keep our feet on the ground when making important decisions. This is especially true when the model helps us stay connected to our values and sexual limits.

3. Explain: Our values, sexual limits, and feelings can be used as a barometer (something that gives us a measure) of how comfortable we are with a situation, and whether it fits within our sexual limits and value system.

4. Draw the following chart on the board. Leave the feelings and decision-making traffic lights blank.

You Feel:	Respected Comfortable Safe Happy Confident Trusting	Guilty Uncertain Stressed Confused Upset Uncomfortable	Afraid Threatened Ashamed Fearful Controlled
How It Fits With Your Sexual Limits and Values	In line	Not sure	Violates
Decision-Making Traffic Sign	Green Light-Go	Yellow Light- Proceed with Caution (slow	Red Light-Stop

5. Ask and write response in appropriate "You Feel" space:

• What might it feel like when our relationships and sexual behaviours match our sexual limits and values?
• What might it feel like when we're not sure?
• What might it feel like when things are crossing our limits?
• How might it feel when our partner respects our sexual limits?
• How might it feel when our partner doesn't respect them?

6. Tell the participants to imagine that there is such a thing as a decision-making traffic light that gives you a green, yellow, or red.

7. Ask:

• If you're feeling this ______ (point to green light feelings first) and it's _____ (point to section of the chart that describes alignment with sexual limits) your sexual limits, what colour would the light be?

8. Ask:

• What are some internal factors that might make it hard for someone to make the kinds of decisions they know are best?
• What are some external factors that might make it hard for someone to make the kinds of decisions they know are best?
• How can knowing your values and sexual limits help you make healthy decisions?

9. Remind students that everyone has different sexual limits. It is very rare that both people in an intimate relationship have exactly the same sexual limits. It's important to check in with your partner about their sexual limits and respect their decisions as well as your own.

To: Using Values To Guide Your Decisions >