Teen Sexual Health

Teen Workshop Modules

Filling Up Your Relationship Skill Toolbox - Overview | Knowing Your Reasons. Knowing You're Ready | Dealing With Emotions And Decision-Making | A Model For Decision-Making | Keeping Relationships Healthy Every Step Of The Way

Relationships III: A Model For Decision-Making

Estimated Time: 10 minutes

Resources:

• A Model for Decision-Making Activity

Procedure:

• Explain:
  • Often in relationships, our initial response to feeling emotionally upset is to place responsibility for our feelings on the other person (e.g., if only they did/didn't do.; if they really loved me they would/wouldn't.) and want them to change. We also do this with positive emotions. For example, we may believe that our partner makes us feel happy, loved, beautiful, worthwhile, etc.
  • We may find it more beneficial for ourselves, our partner, and our relationships if we took responsibility for all of our own feelings instead of allowing someone else's behaviour to influence how we feel about ourselves. That is, upsets could be used as an opportunity to look inside ourselves, at what is going on and what's behind the upset. The upsets can then become an opportunity to grow. For example, if you feel jealous about your partner spending time with his/her friends, this could be an opportunity for you to look at what is behind these jealous feelings. What do these feelings say about how you feel or believe about yourself?
  • Once you know what beliefs are behind these upset feelings, you can work to transform those beliefs into something more positive. In doing this, you may find that the same situations and behaviours no longer upset you.
• Brainstorm: What are some of the pros and cons of taking this "healthy" approach and focusing on yourself? An "unhealthy" approach in which you are focusing on your partner?
• Explain the following decision-making model:

  Relationship Qualities	Healthy	Mixed	Unhealthy
  Balance of Power	Shared	Uncertain	Power over; overpowered
  Your Feelings:	Respected Comfortable Safe Happy Confident Trusting	Guilty Uncertain Stressed Confused Upset Uncomfortable	Afraid Threatened Ashamed Fearful Controlled
  Fit between Sexual Activities and Your Sexual Limits and Values	In line	Not sure	Violates(sexual bullying)
  Decision-Making Traffic Sign	Green Light-Go	Yellow Light- Proceed with Caution (slow)	Red Light-Stop

  
  
• Ask if there are any questions or comments.

To: Keeping Relationships Healthy Every Step Of The Way >