Teen Sexual Health

Teen Workshop Modules

Filling Up Your Relationship Skill Toolbox - Overview | Knowing Your Reasons. Knowing You're Ready | Dealing With Emotions And Decision-Making | A Model For Decision-Making | Keeping Relationships Healthy Every Step Of The Way

Relationships III: Dealing With Emotions And Decision-Making

Estimated Time: 15 minutes

Resources:

• Dealing with Emotions and Decision-making Activity

Procedure:

• Explain:
  • Most people find that lots of emotions are stirred by being in relationships and/or being sexually active. This is true for adults, too.
  • Relationships can cut to the core of our emotionally delicate parts. Being in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship can bring out our insecurities, such as whether we are loveable enough, good enough, etc. This can be especially acute when we are wondering if or wanting someone to like us, if our partner is spending time with someone else, or if we want to spend more time with our partner.
  • This is a normal part of being human and, especially, being a human involved in an intimate relationship.
  • What makes these situations healthy or unhealthy is how you choose to deal with these emotions, and the decisions and behaviours you bring into the relationship in response to these emotions.
• Brainstorm:
  • What are some emotions ("good" and "bad") that come up during relationships?
  • What are some signs that a person is dealing with these emotions in a healthy way?
  • What are some signs that a person isn't dealing with these emotions in a healthy way?

Healthy: Both people are given the space and respect to take care of themselves; both feel valued; there is open communication about emotions and desires. Unhealthy: One person is asked to give up pieces of him or her self; one or more don't feel valued; the relationship involves manipulation; control; communication is blocked or monitored.

• Explain that sex is one area that can cause discomfort and conflict within relationships. This is often connected to the meanings (our beliefs and values) each person has given "sex" and most often has not shared with the other. In fact, we may not even know what "sex" means to us and what we expect of a partner until something goes against these beliefs and expectations, leaving us feeling upset.
• Brainstorm the meanings people attach to sex. If the group is hesitant, ask students what they see in the movies and on TV. Have some of your own examples ready to share if necessary.
• Discussion:
  • What do you notice about the lists of meanings?
  • Which are healthy reasons? Why?
  • Which are unhealthy reasons? Why?
  • Does "sex" always mean the same thing to different people?
  • What might happen if two people who are sexually intimate have different meanings for what sex is all about? What might be some of the emotional, physical, etc. consequences?
  • How might the meaning we give sex affect our experience in a relationship?
  • What are some healthy ways for dealing with this?
  • Why is it important for people to know what sex means to them?
• Ask: If someone needs support in making decisions about sex or is feeling upset about something that has happened, what are some of the supports they can use in the community? (E.g.: school counsellors, youth clinics, Facts of Life Line, www.planetahead.ca, parents).

To: A Model For Decision-Making >