Teen Sexual Health

Teen Workshop Modules

Filling Up Your Relationship Skill Toolbox - Overview | Knowing Your Reasons. Knowing You're Ready | Dealing With Emotions And Decision-Making | A Model For Decision-Making | Keeping Relationships Healthy Every Step Of The Way

Relationships III: Knowing Your Reasons. Knowing You're Ready

Estimated Time: 10 - 15 minutes

Resources:

• Knowing Your Reasons. Knowing You're Ready Activity

Procedure:

• Explain that this session will look at how we can build healthy intimate relationships. Refer back to the ideas about what makes relationships healthy or unhealthy from the first relationships module. Emphasize that healthy sexual decisions are easier to make when we feel good about ourselves and bring respect for ourselves into our relationships.
• Brainstorm with participants the reasons people want to be in romantic relationships. Write their ideas on the board.
• Ask the following:
  • Which are healthy reasons? Put a star beside these.
  • Which aren't healthy reasons? Put a minus sign beside these.
  • What do you notice about the "healthy" reasons? What do they have in common?
  • What do you notice about the "unhealthy" reasons? What do they have in common?
  • If someone's reasons for being in a relationship are not healthy, how might this affect them? Their partner?
  • What are some reasons for wanting to be in "a healthy relationship" and not just "a relationship?"
  • What are some reasons someone would stay in an unhealthy relationship? (examples: They may not be able to see that it's unhealthy. They may be afraid that there is nothing better than this. They may be afraid to leave for fear of violence or humiliation.)
• Explain:
  • Perhaps one of the most important steps in building a healthy relationship is to know you are ready for it, that your reasons for wanting a relationship are healthy, and that you are prepared to invest energy into a healthy relationship.
  • Many of us have been taught that being in a relationship is what will make us happy, whole, normal, feel loved, etc.
  • These kinds of beliefs can make it challenging for people to take care of themselves. Many people end up being so focused on getting into and staying in a relationship that they end up giving up pieces of themselves-or asking their partner to give up pieces of him or herself-in order to keep the relationship going.
  • It is important to remember that we have control over only ourselves, and we are responsible for what we bring into a relationship. This means it's important for us to be able to identify and express our feelings, needs, and what we want in a relationship. At the same time, we need to give the other person the same space to have their feelings, needs, etc.

To: Dealing With Emotions And Decision-Making >