Large groupe of teenagers

Teen Sexual Health

Teen Workshop Modules

Relationship I: Nuts And Bolts | Relationships II: Healthy Relationships Begin With You! | Relationships III: Filling Up Your Relationship Skill Toolbox

Relationships: Facilitators Background Notes For Relationship Modules

Resources:

The following three workshops focus on helping teens develop and strengthen their healthy relationship skills. Understanding relationships and developing relationship skills were identified by the teens involved the Parkgate Teen Sexual Health Project as areas of key concern, especially for older teens. This was no surprise, as one of the key developmental tasks in adolescence is to build experience and competency in peer relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships. That is, the teen years are a laboratory for figuring out how to make relationships work.

Relationship skills are also important to overall sexual health and healthy sexuality, as people are able to make better sexual decisions when they are in a healthy relationship. Although this may appear obvious, most people find it challenging to develop healthy relationships. It is one thing to be aware of importance of self-esteem and self-respect, healthy qualities, and relationship skills, but a very different thing to put these concepts into action.

Bowen's Family Systems Theory helps to explain the challenges humans face in relationship. Part of the human condition is a pull towards two forces: individuality and togetherness. We want to be our own person and be valued for who we are. At the same time, we are also social creatures who have a desire to be in relationships with others and be valued by them. These two forces often compete within us and create anxiety as we try to figure out how to balance them. That is, anxiety is created from being afraid that our choices are either to be ourselves and alone or be with someone and lose who we are.

Depending on which force is stronger for us, we may be more or less willing to negotiate away pieces of ourselves (like our values, our interests, and even our emotions) in an attempt to ensure that the relationship keeps going. For example, people may choose to have sex before they are ready, or not use a condom because they are scared that the other person will leave if they don't get what they want. People find creative ways to subdue this anxiety depending on what we learned in our own family. Some of these techniques are healthier than others. In general, we are blind to the dynamics that drive our behaviour in relationships because they seem normal to us.

The following modules help participants:

The modules are designed to meet the needs of teens at different levels. As teens age, they begin to have more meaningful and longer-lasting relationships, and it becomes increasingly important that they understand the nuances and how-tos of building healthy relationships.

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